CardCaptor Sakura 1920s Skit
by cerezita72903
Summary: Sakura is a flapper who is married to Syaoran, but is having an affair with Eriol. They find out about each other and all hell ensues. Sakura is caught in the middle of the cross fire. Oh, did I mention she's pregnant?
1. Skit set in the 1920s

Hi! I'm thinking about writing a CCS fic and I'm pretty sure that I'll be including this play that I have written. Just FYI this is just a script that I have, it's not actually a story yet. So, you could consider this as whatever you want it to be, but I just wanted to make sure that I have this available for future reference on the chance that I include it.

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><p>[Enter Syaoran and Sakura]<p>

Sakura (eyeing Syaoran from top to bottom): My, my. Well don't you look awfully _dapper_ tonight. What's the occasion?

Syaoran: No occasion, just thought that you might like to go out to a _juice joint_ tonight. Go make yourself look _spiffy_. (Syaoran winks at Sakura.)

[A few minutes later]

Sakura(says in a whiny voice and stomps feet): Why'd we have to come to _this_ juice joint? Couldn't we have gone somewhere more, I don't know, _swanky_?

Syaoran: No baby, I'm telling you this place is the Real McCoy.

Sakura: Fine(pouts). But if I don't have a whoopee time, there'll be no nookie tonight.

[Enter Yukito]

Yukito: Is everything Jake with you folks?

Syaoran: Yes, yes. Everything is just Jake. Get me some panther sweat and some giggle water for the Sheba.

[Sakura was ignoring Syaoran until he ordered the drinks]

Sakura(suddenly looking very nervous): U-Um, could you make that noodle juice instead of the giggle water?

Yukito: Look, _doll_, this here ain't no ritzy joint on the main drag.

[Yukito pulls out two glasses and fills them]

Yukito: Here's your panther sweat and _giggle water_.

Syaoran: What's eating you? Why'd you ask him for _noodle juice_ if we're at a _speakeasy_, for crying out loud!

Sakura(looks down and away from Syaoran and mumbles): I'm expecting...

Syaoran: Expecting _what?_

Sakura(mad for no apparent reason and yells): I'M PREGNANT!

[Sakura runs away sobbing]

[Enter Eriol and Toya, Eriol sees Sakura]

Eriol: Hey! There's my girl! I want you to meet a kiddo of mine, he's going to be in town for a while and I figured you should meet each other.

Sakura(calmed down enough to speak clearly): Pleased to meet you.

Toya: The pleasure is mine. It's good to finally meet the Sheba who's tamed _this_ drugstore cowboy. (Points at Eriol) You must have had to fix him a lot to get him to do what you want.

Sakura: I-I guess you could say that.

Eriol(puts arm around Sakura and talking to Toya): Isn't she the bee's knees? I plan on taking her to middle aisle.

[Sakura starts crying]

[Eriol and Toya look at her funny]

Eriol(says with concern): Baby, what's eating you?

Sakura(stuttering): I-I'm sorry. B-but I've got to hit the road!

[Sakura leaves Eriol and bumps into Syaoran]

Syaoran: Sweetie, why'd you cast a kitten? (mumbles)Mood swings must be settling in.

Sakura: I heard you!(hits Syaoran's arm) How am I _supposed_ to feelabout this? Look, could we just go home? I'm not feeling well and it's obvious that you're _bent._

Syaoran(wraps arms around Sakura's waist): Can't we just stay a while longer? Things are about to get hot.

[Meanwhile Eriol and Toya are having a bull session]

Toya: Are you sure she's the one?

Eriol: Pos-i-lute-ly, she's it.

Toya: Ok, just don't take any wooden nickels or else you're going to end up carrying a torch.

Eriol: That's horsefeathers! She ain't no Dumb Dora, she'll love me no matter what!

Toya: I wouldn't be so sure. Look over there. (points at Syaoran and Sakura)

[Enter Yukito]

Eriol(to Yukito): Can you help me? Can you find out what the relationship is between those two?

Yukito: Well, sir, that's her husband. I mean, she's his _ball and chain._

Toya: Don't cast a kitten. I told you she was a flat tire, flour lover, whore!

Eriol: You never told me _anything!_

Yukito: Is there a problem, gentlemen?

Eriol: Yes there's a problem, dammit! [pauses] I need a torpedo!

Yukito: A _what?_

Toya: Ha-ha a _torpedo_? Why? I got my gun with me, why waste time looking for a torpedo when we can bump off that Joe zilch here and now!

[Stands up and pulls huge (water)gun out]

Yukito: Please, you don't have to do this in _here._

Toya: It's none of your beeswax what we do or not do!

Yukito (says to himself): The Big Cheese will give me beef if they fight in here!

[Meanwhile Sakura and Syaoran]

Syaoran: So if it's a boy, can we name him after...

Yukito (yells): Watch out! He's got a heater!

[Couple turns around, sees the gun, stays standing up]

Sakura: Oh my god, Eriol! What is your friend _doing?_

Syaoran: You_ know_ him?

Eriol: Of course she knows me! I'm her sugar daddy!

[Syaoran looks at Sakura accusingly]

Syaoran(furious): WHAT? How can this be?

Sakura(now yelling): It's not like _you_ haven't had _your_ fair share of lovers!

[Sakura and Syaoran are ignoring the fact that someone wants to kill them and are arguing with each other]

Toya: Are we going to shoot him or not, Eriol! I'm getting impatient!

Eriol: Kiddo, pipe down! It's _my_ decision!

Toya: Yeah, and it's _my_ heater!

[Back to Sakura and Syaoran's argument]

Syaoran: What? Now it's _my_ fault?

Sakura: Of course it is! Who else's could it be?

Syaoran: Uh, yours? Duh! It's _your_ lover.

Sakura: Well, I wouldn't have felt the _need_ for a lover if you weren't always with someone else!

Yukito (to Syaoran and Sakura): In case you haven't noticed, they're about to KILL YOU!

Syaoran (to Toya): You think you're a bimbo just because you have a heater? It takes more than that!

Eriol: She's my dame!

Yukito: Get out! All of you! Before I bum's rush you!

Syaoran: I can't believe I've been a sap this whole time, I was so goofy for you. I gave you everything! And what do you do? You double-cross me!

Sakura: I never _asked_ you to give me anything! And I was goofy for you, too! I still am! For crying out loud, I'm having your _BABY!_

Eriol(says with disbelief): You're _knocked up?_

[Eriol grabs Toya's gun and aims at Syaoran]

Eriol: You motherfucker! I'm gonna kill you!

[Syaoran pulls out his hidden gun, aims, and shoots for Eriol]

[Syaoran accidentally shoots Toya in the shoulder. Toya staggers and is stunned]

Syaoran: _Futz!_ I missed!

Eriol: You steal my gal _and_ shoot my kiddo. You bastard!

[Syaoran reloads while Eriol gets ready to shoot]

Sakura(eyes widening): NO!

[Yukito grabs Eriol to make him lose aim and Eriol shoots Yukito]

[Eriol takes one more shot just as Syaoran shoots him and Sakura gets shot by Eriol's bullet]

Sakura(screams and touches her stomach(baby)): Oh no…SYAORAN!

Toya(recovers from shock): What have you _done?_ I'm going to make you pay for this!

[Toya runs to pick up the gun]

[Syaoran shoots Toya while his back is turned. Toya dies]

Syaoran: Every thing's going to be fine... I promise.

Sakura(says weakly before she passes out): Syaoran, I'm sorry.

**1 week later**

Syaoran: How are you feeling?

Sakura: I'm fine, but how's the baby? (Puts hand on stomach.)

[Enter Yukito as the doctor.]

Yukito: After many tests, I'm sorry to say that you've lost your baby.

Syaoran: I'm sorry sweetie.

[Syaoran turns away, thinking deeply, then quickly turns to face Sakura]

Syaoran: Wait...Sakura, who was the father of that baby, me or that other fella?

[Sakura turns around to not face Syaoran]

Sakura: It-it was...

**THE END**


	2. Translations

I really hope you liked my skit and in case you were wondering what a lot of the words meant, here's a list of the slang words I used and what they mean.

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><p>Dapper – handsome<p>

Juice Joint – An illicit bar selling bootleg liquor

Spiffy - An elegant appearance (as in "go make yourself look good")

Swanky – Elegant; luxurious; ritzy

Real McCoy - The genuine article

Whoopee – To have a good time

Nookie – Sex

Jake – Ok; Great; Fine

Panther Sweat – Whiskey

Giggle Water - Liquor or other alcoholic beverage. (I always thought of it as a mixed drink)

Sheba – A sexy or seductive woman; one's girlfriend (in this case wife)

Noodle juice – tea

Ritzy – Luxurious

Main Drag –

What's eating you? – What's bothering you?

Speakeasy – same as juice joint

Kiddo – pal

Drugstore Cowboy – A guy that hangs around on a street corner trying to pick up girls

Fix – To bribe

Bee's knees - An extraordinary person, thing, idea; terrific

Middle aisle – To marry

Hit the road – To leave

Cast a kitten – To have a fit

Bent – drunk

Bull Session - Male talkfest, gossip ("guy talk")

Don't take any wooden nickels – Don't do anything stupid

Carrying a torch – Suffer from unrequited love

Horsefeathers! – Nonsense!

Dumb Dora – A stupid female; an absolute idiot

Ball and chain – One's wife

Flat tire – A stupid female

Flour lover – A girl with too much face powder

Torpedo – A hired thug or hit man

Bump off – To kill

Joe zilch – loser

Beeswax – business

Big Cheese – The Boss

Beef – Complaints

Heater – gun

Sugar daddy - A young woman's boyfriend or lover

Pipe down – Stop talking

Bimbo – A tough guy

Dame – A woman ("She's my woman")

Bum's rush – Ejection by force from an establishment

Sap – A fool

Goofy – In love with; crazy for

Futz! – Fuck!


End file.
